I can’t deal with it. It drives me crazy. I’m smart, able-bodied, and driven. I don’t like when I have to do more work because something else or someone else isn’t working properly.
My biggest annoyance right now is electronic/media incompetence (including, actually especially, that of sites such as this one). If I said save, you should have saved. Don’t lie to me and then let me find out hours later that my paragraphs of writing was all for naught because somehow you have better things to do than save my work??! AARGHH!
Backstory: I am working on an epic blog post. I mean epic; it’s long. I copied it (or at least what was left of it) into Word today and it’s already three pages and isn’t even halfway done. I can tell already I am going to be proud of this. Yesterday, I was chugging along, adding to the mega blog post adding my lovely thoughts and opinions, saving all the while. So naturally I think progress has been made and saved. But alas, hours later, I go to look at the blog, maybe continue adding, and I come to see large chunks missing! Gah! It was a big “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” moment. Tragic.
After a period of denial, I realized I wasn’t ever getting those pieces back. They are gone forever. Then I got pissed. I don’t like putting effort in for nothing. I didn’t trap a god in chains. I don’t deserve this. (that was a mythological reference; check it.) In my mind this is the worst kind of labor to have to repeat. The writing was just sort of a thoughts-and-opinions-that-come-to-me-in-a-stream-of-thought kind of piece. It’s not easy to recreate exactly as it was. I remember generally what I wrote, but not exactly. I can no longer just let thoughts flow because I know what I had before was good, so I need to try to get that back. It is so frustrating. Even once I have what could be a nice rewrite of it, I feel like it’s probably just a shell of the free-flowing, genuine writing I had before. It sounds stupid, but I could almost cry. I love creating things, anything, and it hurts when those creations are ruined. Boo.
I’m almost scared to save anything blog post on here now. I won’t even save this one, even though I’m not going to leave it here and I’m going to post it once I’m done in a minute. I’ve now been conditioned into seeing that “Save Draft” button as a “maybe I’ll save, but maybe I won’t save it, ruin your post, and crush your soul” button. No, I don’t trust it. From now on I will have to save multiple copies on other programs, maybe even hard copies, like some hermit who has theories that computers are actually aliens that have invaded and now occupy the planet waiting for the precise right moment to strike.
Ohh what I go through to blog…